


but i don't want you to hide

by uselessphillie



Series: forever home [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Christmas, Family, Future Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 10:35:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17201903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uselessphillie/pseuds/uselessphillie
Summary: Two scenes from Christmas 2022, in which Dan welcomes his mum and brother to join Phil and his family for dinner at their forever home.





	but i don't want you to hide

**Author's Note:**

  * For [knlalla](https://archiveofourown.org/users/knlalla/gifts).



> this is a slightly belated christmas gift for katie, who you all know as being an incredible writer, respectful demon, and the human embodiment of kindness. i happen to have the additional honor of calling her a dear friend. i love you, thank you for everything, and see you soon xx
> 
> this work is set in the same future timeline as a drabble i wrote called [undisclosed desires](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15387912), so i highly recommend that you read that first. 
> 
> unbeta'd because i thought it would be weird to ask katie to edit her own christmas present. all mistakes are mine.

***~ one: Karen *~**

He hears Colin yapping excitedly in the front garden long before his mother gets around to ringing the bell. She’s probably taking her time admiring the gigantic wreath Phil’s hung on their front door.

He hovers in the entrance to the foyer until the chime sounds, then counts to five before moving towards the door. He breathes deeply, pushing down the bundle of nerves in his sternum. When he opens the door, she’s smiling up at him, her brown curls tousled from the December wind. She’s holding a bottle of red wine in one hand and Colin’s leash in the other, and the white cashmere scarf Dan had given her for her birthday this year is peeking out of her coat.

“Daniel, Merry Christmas, darling,” she says brightly. He takes the wine from her as she unleashes Colin, placing it on the small table in the entryway. Colin jumps up at his legs relentlessly until Dan bends to pet and coo at him, rustling the tiny jingle bell tied to his collar. He quickly abandons Dan in favor of seeking out attention from the rest of the houseguests, leaving Dan alone with his mum.

She sheds her coat and various winter accessories, hanging everything neatly on the row of hooks to the left of the door. Dan always thinks that she looks exactly like she did the last time he saw her, even though that can’t possibly be true. But she’s got the same haircut and the same shade of pink lipstick and smells like the same pinewood candles she’s been burning in her house since he and Adrian were old enough to know not to touch them, so he feels like he’s justified.

She holds her arms out for him, and he folds his long body in half around her. There’s a burst of laughter from the lounge as they hug, and Dan suddenly feels very grateful that he asked her to come today. They’ve both worked hard to let go of so much of their messy past, of grudges and anger and apathy held between them, that the warmth of this moment feels like the beginnings of some sort of cosmic reward.

“I’m glad you’re here, Mum,” he says, because he’s trying to put his thoughts into words more often.

She squeezes tight around his middle before pulling back to look at him. “Me too,” she says, smiling. She presses up on her tiptoes to tidy his fringe and he ducks out of reach on instinct, the same way he’s been doing since he was a kid.

“Mum! None of that, fix your own fringe instead, you look like you took a tornado to get here instead of a train,” he teases.

“Oi, it’s Christmas, be nice to your mother,” she chides, poking a finger into his side even as she uses her other hand to smooth out her curls.

“Sorry, mum,” he says with a laugh. “C’mon into the kitchen. Kath’s already been breathing down Phil’s neck for the last hour, but he needs all the help he can get, honestly.”

She smiles and steps ahead of him, and Dan moves to follow before doubling back to grab the wine she’d brought. He hears the low murmur of chatter from the other room burst into a chorus of “Hello!” and “Merry Christmas!” as his mum makes her way in, and the joyous sound of it settles some of the nerves still fluttering in his chest.

It’s not often that him and Phil get their families together in one place, too little time and too much distance tending to squash any plans they make. It’d been Phil who’d suggested that they host a joint Christmas this year, to celebrate the new house and the bulk of the renovations being done and, by proxy, the true beginning of the next chapter of their lives. Dan had only resisted minutely before Phil had won him over, arguing that this year for the first time, they have the space and the time and the resources to make it truly wonderful.

Kath is tying up the strings of an apron around his mum when he finally shakes himself from his thoughts and rounds the corner into the kitchen. He catches the tail end of their conversation as he sets down the wine on the counter.

“ - and then, you’ll never believe this, Karen, he calls me two nights ago to ask if I _really_ needed almonds for the pies, because he forgot them at the store.”

“ _Dan_ forgot them,” Phil interjects, looking accusatorially over at him, a small smile playing at his lips.

“Oi,” Dan says, coming to his own defense, “ _you_ were holding the list when we were at Sainsbury’s, I was only working under your instructions!”

“Well it’s _your_ fault for letting me hold the list, then!” Phil argues.

“I’m inclined to agree with him there, Dan,” Karen says. Kath hums along in agreement, adding, “Husbands should never be left in charge of the list.”

“I heard that!” Nigel says from the dining table, where he’s sat hunched over the spring gardening blueprints he’d brought along.

“And you know it’s true!" Kath replies, pointing her wooden spoon at him victoriously. Nigel just waves her away with a smile, turning back to his drawings.

 

***~ two: Adrian *~**

They’d made an agreement, between all the siblings, really - no tweeting, no Instagram stories, no pictures that won’t be kept just for them. It’s the concession Dan had made in order to be able to convince Adrian to come to their house for the first time now since they’d moved, for the first time in years, actually. A pact formed between the two of them over a handful of texts, that they could both show up for their mum this year. It’s a bit forced and a bit cheesy but they’re both well and truly adults now, and so a temper tantrum over where they’d spend the holidays just doesn’t feel right anymore.

Dan  finds himself lingering in the foyer for the second time that day. He turns his phone end over end in his hands, trying to soothe the restless feeling in his chest. He unlocks it to reread Adrian’s text again, the one from 25 minutes ago saying that he was 20 mins away. Dan sighs and darkens the screen, resuming his pacing across the small space. He jumps when he hears the slam of a car door, followed by a low voice muttering as the sounds of the car engine fade away. He thinks he can make out the phrases _so much fucking snow here_ and _why couldn’t they have moved somewhere warm,_ and so Dan’s actually smiling a bit by the time the doorbell rings.   

They really do look so much alike. Dan sees it more and more the older they get, as Adrian disappears and reemerges through the second and third puberties that he himself is so familiar with.

“Hey,” Adrian says, and Dan startles at the realization of how long it’s been since he heard his brother’s voice in person. He still watches Adrian’s videos, quietly and well in the background of the rest of his life. His therapist has convinced him that it’s good for him, to watch and to hear his thoughts and opinions, even if Dan doesn’t always agree. Even if it makes him angry sometimes.

It’s a different thing to have Adrian standing in front of him on his doorstep, a single backpack slung over his shoulder and three small, neatly-wrapped packages stacked in his gloveless hands.  

“Hey,” Dan parrots back, the cold wind outside blowing some snow onto his ankles.

Adrian smiles, just a little. “You gonna let me in, or do I have to whistle for Colin to go on the attack?”

Dan rolls his eyes but steps back to let his brother through the door, taking the gifts from him while he shrugs out of his coat. "Yes, what an incredibly vicious beast you have at your disposal."

As if on cue, Colin comes barreling through the hallway and collides at full speed with Adrian's shins, sliding all along the way on the hardwood floors. Adrian laughs and picks him up, letting the dog lick across his cheeks and forehead.

"Ew, you two are gross," Dan says, putting on a face of mock disgust, as though he hadn't been lying on the floor letting Colin do the same to him not ten minutes earlier.

Adrian rolls his eyes in a perfect replica of Dan from two minutes ago, bending down to release a squirming Colin from his arms. "Uh, Merry Christmas," he says as he straightens up, nodding to the packages Dan had taken from him. "The bottom one's for you and Phil, and the other two are for Mum."

"Oh! Uh - thanks," Dan says, watching Adrian toe off his snowy boots and kick them into the closet. He flexes his fingers around the boxes he's holding, trying to unstick himself from his anxieties. _Put your thoughts into words, Dan_ , his therapist's voice says in his head.

"Hey," he starts, shifting the presents to balance in his left hand, "it's good to see you. I'm happy you could come."

Adrian manages to only look taken aback for a moment before relaxing his face into a small smile. "Yeah. Me too, Dan."

A pause. Something slots into place in his heart, everyone he loves under the same roof, warm and happy and safe. It's right, that it should be this way.

"C'mon, I think Mum put the kettle on for you as soon as she heard the doorbell," Dan says.

The chorus of greetings starts up again as they round the corner into the kitchen together, and Dan veers off to the side to lay the presents Adrian had brought under the tree. When he turns back, his brother is already stood at the kitchen island, a cup of tea cradled in his hands and having his collar straightened by their mum. Martyn claps him on the shoulder as he moves around him to pour a cup for Cornelia, who's nodding along attentively as Adrian starts to recap his latest biking trip.

He catches Phil’s eye from across the room as he stands there taking in the scene. Phil’s leaning on his elbows on the kitchen island, a bit of flour on his jumper and a soft smile on his lips. Phil lets his gaze drift around the room with intention: to the counter cluttered with pieces of their festive feast, to their holiday decorations both old and new, to the many people now gathering around the dining table, carrying plates and silverware and bottles of toasting champagne. A deep sense of satisfaction settles over Dan as Phil’s eyes land on him once again. They did it.

(Together, the way they do everything else.)

**Author's Note:**

> read and reblog on tumblr [here](https://uselessphillie.tumblr.com/post/181497912510/fic-but-i-dont-want-you-to-hide) xx


End file.
